Every parent wishes happiness for their child, but, unfortunately, these feelings do not always fill life. In such a period, an adult child needs parental support and support and http://argoprep.com/blog/norm-referenced-vs-criterion-referenced-test/.
From our article you will learn what words will help maintain close relationships between parents and adult children.
– 1 – “Don’t be sad,” so often parents say to their grown children, trying to cheer them up. From a young age, children hear this phrase and understand that sadness, anger and resentment are unwanted feelings. Parents teach the child that feelings can be positive and negative, positive and negative.
However, each feeling has its own need and importance. The child is told that they will not accept him with negative feelings and http://argoprep.com/blog/project-based-learning-pbl-examples/. And he understands that he is bad with bad feelings.
But you need to know that feelings cannot be chosen, because they arise on their own, regardless of whether we want it or not.
At times like these, parents just need to be there for their kids.
– 2 – “Try to pull yourself together and not hang your nose,” this is not bad advice, but not for those who suffer from apathy and depression. In this state, a person is looking for answers to his questions, trying to understand and change himself. Parents are worried about this situation, they are worried about their child.
In this case, parents should not be persistent and teach their children some examples. You just need to say that his condition causes concern in you, and if necessary, you are ready to help him.
– 3 – “Don’t worry so much, because you are doing well.” These words devalue the feelings and condition of a person. Wanting to support your child in every possible way, you compare his life with the life of those who are at war, who are seriously ill, lonely, etc. But each person, seemingly provided with everything, may have different problems and apathy. This may be due to a personality crisis, depression and overstrain at work.
Parents should ask what is important in his life he wants, but has not yet achieved. It must be remembered that the manifestation of a lively sincere interest in the affairs of the child will help rapprochement and trust.
– 4 – “Call when the mood appears!”, so an offended parent can say. And if he’s gone for a long time, then it’s not worth calling? Parents are worried that the child is ill, and they are also offended by the harshness of the child, who is nervous and breaks down on his parents.
Parents, try to be tolerant in such moments and do not be offended by your children. It is already difficult for them to hold on and pretend that everything is fine, especially with their parents, from whom they expect sincere understanding.
– 5 – “You are indifferent to your parents”, and the child does not have the desire and strength to prove the opposite. It hurts him to hear such words, because he loves and appreciates his parents.
– 6 – “Yes, you have the worst parents.” This can be heard by a child, painfully remembering his childhood. Then it may sound: “What was it like for us when there were such difficulties in everything?”, “We tried everything for you and denied ourselves in many ways”, etc.
Parents need to understand that their adult child, remembering his childhood, does not blame them for anything, but simply shares the negative experience he has received. He wants to hear from the parent, words of regret that he had to go through this in childhood.
When an adult child hears that you are sorry that you could not give him something or did not save him from something, then it will become much easier for him. This is how closeness and understanding between close people is achieved.