All people are different, but for some people communication is of paramount importance because of its extraversion or the nature of its character, work habits, lifestyle. In case it is important for you to understand the other, which equally means to understand yourself, to develop and improve your ability to “see through people”, you will be interested to learn about the secrets of “understanding” people. People who understand others well, understand themselves first of all, trust their instincts and have a lot in common. Here are some character traits, behavioral features, communication techniques of experts in this field, the knowledge of which will be useful. And in the power of any person to develop these qualities in themselves. But first, a little self-analysis, which will complement the picture of our strengths and weaknesses in understanding other people and ourselves, of course. Answer the following ten questions in the most sincere way possible: 1. How do you feel about your past? 2. Do you listen attentively to what you are told? 3. Do you pay attention to details or do you try to form a general idea about someone or something? 4. How do you express your feelings, openly or discreetly? 5. How do you behave in an unfamiliar situation? 6. Are you afraid of difficulties and how do you deal with them? 7. Do you know what can make you happy in everyday life? 8. What’s your memory? 9. How often do you make the right decisions at work? 10. How do you make decisions – do you trust your advice or do you listen to yourself? What answers say about your perspicacity, your ability to understand yourself and others: 1. People understand others when they perceive their past as a necessary experience. They tend to use different ways and techniques to achieve their goals. And they look at failure as the inventor of Edison’s bulb: “I found a thousand ways to make a bulb. And I didn’t make a thousand mistakes, even if it’s different every time. Ideally, all you have to do is not make the same mistake. People who can understand the other, remember very well how they felt when they had serious problems. They are very sensitive to trouble, so they do everything they can to make sure that it never happens again. 2. They pay the utmost attention to everything that people say, how they say it and how they look. It makes it much easier for them to remember exactly what others are saying. 3. 3. They constantly monitor a person’s reactions – their movements, gesticulation and facial expressions – and therefore know how they act on others and how others act on them. 4. They are not afraid to express openly all their emotions – from anger and fear to love – because they always know how they feel in any given situation. 5. They are so receptive to everything that happens around them that they easily avoid the threat of becoming a victim in potentially life-threatening situations. 6. They have confidence in themselves. They know that they will not only survive but also win because they know how to surround themselves with reliable people. 7. By paying great attention to even the smallest details, they simultaneously see the bigger picture and are able to enjoy the small joys of life. 8. They have a good memory, which they develop by closely following what is happening around them and studying the people they have to deal with. 9. In their business, they are more likely to make good decisions than bad ones. If they take risks, they carefully weigh the pros and cons, because they know the many nuances and possible approaches to solving the problems they face. 10. 10. They trust their intuition and their personal experience and do not succumb to the influence of others. Because of their broad outlook, they rarely choose to be friends and comrades with people who can only cause them grief and trouble.
By doing so, you will find that you have become immeasurably better at understanding what others really meant and what they really are. And the more active you will put your knowledge into practice, the sooner you will learn to distinguish decent people from those who are able to cause more trouble and problems. Before you start a business or personal relationship, you should stop, pause – a minute, two, look at the expression and gesticulation of another person, listen to what he says and how he says, and most importantly, to understand what he impresses us. For example, you realize that you shouldn’t have anything to do with a person, because he is completely contraindicated to you, but still go for it. In this case you just need to remember that the relationship with such people will not only cause you anxiety, but also undermine your health. Once you understand that because of someone your life can literally be in danger, it will be much easier for you to say “no” to such a person, because health and well-being, of course, above all. Taking it as a rule to stop, look around and listen every time you meet a new person, you will develop an amazing insight into other people. And when you have to make a fundamental decision about a person, you will make the right and accurate choice. To “see through” a person, you need to decode correctly and in a timely manner all the information that he informs with all his behavior, not only with the meaning of the words he said. Deciphering another person’s behavior is easy to do by relying on four sources of information: Deciphering the speech code. A person’s voice gives only part of the keys to his or her inner world; just as important is what words he or she uses and what he or she actually means. What do people really mean by what they say? How sincere are they? Don’t they release questionable compliments, aren’t their courtesies, in fact, disguised bumps? Do they not spread gossip about you? Don’t they have a habit of always talking only about themselves? What is their vocabulary and do they follow the rules of grammar? What do they really talk about when they listen to what is “between the lines”? By listening to the voice code. A voice can say a lot about your condition. It’s especially evident when you talk on the phone. In a moment, you determine the mood of the person on the other end of the wire. The voice code is defined by the tone of the voice. Many elements of this code are familiar to you, but you may not have paid enough attention to them. These include the range of the speaker’s voice (high or low), its distinguishing features (the person mumbles, talks more and more quietly, voice complaint, sharp, serious, hoarse, melodic, low, sound, dull, lifeless, enthusiastic, excited, aggressive, sweet or monotonous), as well as the volume of the voice and the pace of speech, which primarily depend on the technique of speech of a person. Looking at the code of the body language. The body language code is a kind of pebble from a person, which shows how he walks, sits and stands. The way a person holds his or her head is no less important when analyzing the body language code than the movements he or she makes with his or her hands and feet. Observe, for example, how much space a person occupies when sitting, or how far away he usually tries to stay. Reading the facial expression code. Each person’s face expresses something, and it is the face that we understand what is on his or her soul. The facial expression code shows how someone’s face changes when they listen to others or speak for themselves. At the same time, the expression of the eyes has as much meaning as the facial expressions. How does a person listen to you: with his mouth open or with clenched teeth? Maybe he frowns, looks away, takes his eyes off? If you look closely at the expression of the person you are talking to, you can assess what he actually said in a completely new way. Every detail of a person’s facial expression can tell a lot of interesting things about him. How a person who is able to understand others and understands himself or herself behaves is applicable to the above four codes, i.e. the person with whom one wants to deal, to make friendships, close acquaintances, to make a part of one’s life, and from whom, to all other things, there is something to learn. I will immediately agree that this description is averaged, does not mean that it must be copied and give up its individual characteristics. It is most correct to keep your identity, but what you like and suit you, you can take in your piggy bank useful habits.
Speech code. Understanding, or as they are called reliable, people willingly come into a conversation and talk politely and kindly. They tend to think before they say anything, keep their word and know what they are talking about and doing. They do not stingy on compliments and say them from the heart. Understanding people are not inclined to talk about the bad and find the good side in any situation. At the same time, they are sincere and honest, wherever possible. Reliable people are responsible for their actions and speak and act accordingly. They accept people for who they are and do not want to judge anyone. Understanding people are willing to share information with others and always make sure that the conversation is useful to all participants.
Their manner of speaking speaks for modesty, simplicity and lack of ego. They have a good sense of humor, but do not ridicule others or try to say anything that might humiliate another person. They speak the essence of the conversation, directly and understandably, trying to avoid ambiguities. They are excellent listeners, helping the interlocutor to prove himself at his best. Understanding people value communication and sincerely show people their affection. Voice code. The manner of speaking of understanding people allows them to express a variety of feelings. When they discuss something, their tone expresses the emotions that are relevant to the occasion. If they are upset, happy, scared or concerned, it is immediately reflected in their voice. The tempera and volume of their voice change depending on the topic under discussion. Reliable people speak clear and understandable words, their voice is expressive. They hear cheerfulness and optimism, and in the manner of speech you can feel the power that makes the interlocutors listen carefully. Body language code. Reliable people move freely and hold on so that people see their willingness to communicate and do not feel uncomfortable. When talking, they often lean towards the person they are talking to and are not afraid to touch them. They like to nod to cheer people up and show them their interest. Reliable people always take a comfortable posture, but maintain a good posture, hold their head high, stretch their shoulders and do not hunch. With the movements of their hands they are able to show their interest or emphasize a particular thought. Gesticulating, show the interlocutor their palms and keep their fingers straight, showing that they have nothing to hide. As they sit, understanding people freely spread their legs or place them one on top of the other, which also indicates that they are open. The feet pressed tightly against the ground and looked towards the person they were talking to. The code for facial expression. When speaking, understanding people gladly look a person right in the eye and do not look away. Their interlocutor feels that for them in the whole world there is no one more important than him. Usually reliable people have a calm and open expression that indicates that they are ready to communicate. They have a lively mime, a slight smile on their face, and the lower part of their face remains relaxed when they talk and listen. If they smile, it’s only sincere, because when they smile, their lip tips rise, and wrinkles appear around their eyes, and they infect others with their fun. The expression of the face is consistent with what they are going to express in words. If they are upset, you will immediately feel it not only by their tone, but also by the expression of the face. When reliable people like someone, their pupils dilate and they start to smile all the time.